Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Set Goals

Everyone should set goals.  Here is a picture of one of my less important goals.  Tell me she is not the cat's meow.  oooooF now that is hair! 

Saturday, March 28, 2009

You are cordially invited to a girl's Dude night.

Girl’s Dude night will include:


Some beers

Maybe a cigar (a cheap one)


A charged cell phone (just in case)

Walls (maybe punch able ones)

Heterosexual music

Gay music (to secretly love, main purpose: to make fun of in order to prove manliness to self and others.)

Broads (mute ones)

Competition of some sort

Supped up four-wheel drive (preferably a Ford Taurus, windows down)

Low-pitched chuckling


Black Outs

Pissing standing up



Main goal of the evening: prove heterosexuality. 


Conversation With Man

By Woman


Man meets Woman, Woman meets Man.  Hands shake, distance is made, two arms length distance.  They exchange names and basic information; profession, place of origin, ect. Small talk then takes place, each relating to something the other said.  “I am from St. Paul.” “Oh, then do you know where Appleton is?”  Even if the answer is no, the conversation goes on as if it was common knowledge. Nods are exchanged.  From there, real interest in the other person may take place.  “So you farm?” says Woman, encouraging him to go on. More nods exchanged.  Innocent talk is made of the light subject.  Conversation about said topic slowly fades.  This is the point that the conversation either is taken to a deeper level or is ended with polite, “it was nice to meet you”s.  If Man and Woman are lucky enough to engage in the rare act of face to face communication, the conversation develops in to a more intellectual exchange of words.  The two get more and more comfortable, and polite terms and gestures are disregarded.  Woman thinks Man is very interesting.  Man thinks Woman is very interesting and kinda hot.  The two move closer together, they are now an arms length from one another.  The topic is highly intriguing.  “Oh really?” Nods exchanged.  This is the point where the man usually gets the wrong idea.  The topic changes from the economy to his new cell phone.  Woman then realizes this wrong turn.  Woman steps back.  Man steps forward.  As Man reaches for phone Woman knows what to expect. “Can I get your number before you go Margret?” “Its Madeline.” As she proceeds to enter a false number in his device.  The conversation is now over.  Hands shake.  Parting phrases such as, “good-bye” and “see you soon” are said.  Man’s final thoughts: “She was totally into me. Success.”  Woman’s final thoughts: “He was totally into me.  Fail.”  

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Sunday, March 15, 2009

New Project

These are just the beginnings of a new idea I have...

Thursday, March 12, 2009


Still Life With Woodpecker, by Tom Robbins is a good read. 

Monday, March 9, 2009

know hope

I just discovered this artist, and I am in love.
-Know Hope-

Sunday, March 8, 2009

A Good Business Skill

Small talk is apparently supposed to be one of the best business skills/people skills one can posses. Isn't it kind of a shame that the most valuable communication skill is being fake and impersonal? 

Friday, March 6, 2009

oo oo.

Style is the answer to everything.
Fresh way to approach a dull or dangerous day.
To do a dull thing with style is preferable to doing a dangerous thing without style.
To do a dangerous thing with style, is what I call art.
Bullfighting can be an art.
Boxing can be an art.
Loving can be an art.
Opening a can of sardines can be an art.
Not many have style.
Not many can keep style.
I have seen dogs with more style than men.
Although not many dogs have style.
Cats have it with abundance.

When Hemingway put his brains to the wall with a shotgun, that was style.
For sometimes people give you style.
Joan of Arc had style.
John the Baptist.
GarcĂ­a Lorca.
I have met men in jail with style.
I have met more men in jail with style than men out of jail.
Style is a difference, a way of doing, a way of being done.
Six herons standing quietly in a pool of water, or you, walking 
out of the bathroom without seeing me.

-Charles Bukowski

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I like these things.


Taboo-prohibited or restricted by social custom. 

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

The Consequences of Temporary Obsession

    Obsession- An idea or thought that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person's mind. He was in the grip of obsession, he was powerless to resist. 

 The main problem with obsessions is that they often come to an end.  The end can be hurtful, or simply embarrassing.  I once obsessed about collecting cow figurines, I am horrified that I even just wrote that.  I also had a strange obsession with the 1950s, stickers and Ricky Martin, oh god, I need to stop. Obsessions with songs can lead to hatred.  Obsessions with food can lead to disgust.  Obsessions can lead to rehab.  

The most dangerous obsession is people.  You want nothing more than to do anything and everything for ever and ever with that person. You have the same dream every night, the one about you and your lover living in that lovely rambler together on that lovely culdesac, with those lovely kids, consumption is done in excess and and there are family photos on the mantle, and if its a good night you might even have a mini-van.  One morning, as you wake, you sit up in your bed like always, eyes closed, arms stretched up, and POW, right in the kisser, you are smacked in the face by...something, you don't know what it is, its just different. Every night after that you no longer have that blissful dream that you had had for so many nights, instead you have dreams about unicorns, and the Rugrats.  


This is something I do.
This is something I carry.

This I know, you told me so.

State of mind. 

Does the moon live in France on Main Street?

Dirty Bitches.

Tim Allen on the rocks.

Fuck you Perkins.


The armpit hair of a dear roommate. 

Party pooper.